A look at today's news By Jack Dandelion.

Britain

Old tricks new dogs comes to mind. Royal families have a tradition of making themselves "royal" through defeating their opponents in battle and then claiming a country or a throne.

At least that's how it used to be, and by the state of the EU it looks like it soon will be again. Prince Harry has been getting his hand in again in Afghanistan so he can carve out a new British Empire from the failed state of Europe any day now.

Britain

Shares in Ocado, the online grocer, rose over 40% in the last 3 months to .95p yesterday, valuing the business at £550million. Gross sales grew 14% in the six weeks to January 6th.

Global Greed Inc wannabe Stuart Rose, former top executive at Marks & Spencer, will become an independent non-executive director and chairman designate in March.

Europe

The failing Eurozone dictatorship's survival depends upon reducing the standard of living of its citizens by 30% an independent report states.

The idea is to put the high wage indigenous peoples out of work and replace them with low wage immigrant labour. The only problem for the EU dictatorship is how to avoid civil war when the once free Europeans discover they have been betrayed by the political elite.

Israel

Elections today are expected to return war monger Benjamin Netanyahu to power. Idolised by the neo-conservative American Zionists behind the EDL who desire all out war with both the Palestinians and the Iranians, Netanyahu is a fascist who surpasses all the horrors of Adolf Hitler.

Indonesia

The death sentence has been passed on a woman for attempting to smuggle drugs into Bail. 11lbs of cocaine worth nearly £1.6million was hidden in the suitcase belonging to Lindsay Sandford, a Briton aged 56.

USA

The Dictator of America bathed in excessive pomp and pageantry like a Roman Emperor in the ceremonial swearing in at the US Capitol. The greying African failure says he wishes to destroy American culture even more with excessive unwanted immigration, putting homosexual perverts first and by worshipping at the altar of the climate change scam.

Algeria

The government has joined the neo-conservative coalition of the USA, Britain's David Cameron and Israel in a grand alliance to fight Al Qaeda terrorists in the Saharan Sahel region.

This southern zone of the North African desert has turned into a Muslim version of the Wild West.

The indigenous peoples are pleasant peaceful tribesmen, with a 1000 year old culture, which is being systematically destroyed by the Salafi jihadists Cameron used to murder Gaddafi.

Britain

The failed economic policy of the ConLibdem government has meant that Britain is now even further in debt.

Last year our inept chancellor George Osborne borrowed a staggering £100.9billion or the equivalent of 6.4% of Britain's gross domestic product.

Tax revenue is down and as a result further cuts in public services are inevitable along with even higher tax increases.

Have you ever had the feeling we are all in this together, George?

Britain

The traitors who are running our country into the ground are reducing our defences even further today.

5000 soldiers are being made redundant which will reduce the army to just 80,000. It is more than 300 years since the army has been this small. Our armed forces are no longer able to defend us.

Cameron's aim is to allow our enemies to defeat Britain with ease.