Blackbird swoops through Parliament to watch all the new snouts sniff at the trough.
George Osborne jumps straight into the trough feet first. Swill splashes across the benches as happy snouts scent today's tasty stew.
PFI is first on the agenda but with better controls. Our cretinous chancellor is continuing the Labour party PFI con job but without the £466 cost of changing a light bulb.
He fails to tell us how much changing a light bulb in Cumbria NHS will be now. £400 perhaps? Piggy Osborne licks his chops.
Andrew Tyrie condemns the buy now pay later Osborne policy.
Osborne says government will take a stake in future PFI to control what happens on projects.
Geoffrey Robinson asks in what form a stake will be taken.
Osborne licks his chops: a small equity stake. His eyes glaze over at the mention of the word equity. He goes on to say our economy is back in the world's top ten. Waffle waffle waffle.
Cathie Jameson reminds us that 6.1 millions of our people are living in poverty and that these people need more support to end child poverty.
Osborne slides along the front bench to let David Gauke have a go at the swill.
Dan Rogerson complains the high cost of fuel unfairly penalises the unemployed living in country areas.
Willy Bain points out that this government only stands up for millionaires. Wow Willy are you sure? Would have thought billionaires are more their style.
Osborne announces the budget will be on March 20th. There is an awed hush amongst the porkine herd as eyes glaze over at the thought of more disaster and dismay.
Balls stands up but falls snout first into the swill. Osborne has a go at asking Balls a question.
Bercow admonishes Osborne. You are here to answer questions not ask them! Osborne is unperturbed.
He makes a statement about the Northern Rock fiasco under Labour that it now turns out 152,000 savers with less than £25,000 are not legally protected by Labour's shabby deal.
There is uproar as the Conservatives appear to have pushed this statement in illegally. Much huffing and puffing from the assembled porkers.
Bercow shouts "Order order order". All the swine ignore him. This is clearly for the new intake.
We then move on to the illegal government legislation on same sex marriage.
Militant sodomites buggering up traditional values and the child-protecting institution of marriage with the approval of the parliamentary paedophile brigade.
Maria Miller (she of £90,000 housing expenses fiddle infamy) the government Minister for ´Kulcher´ (rhymes with Vulture) says it is not if they pass the legislation, but when.
The Dishonourable Member for Sodom and Gomorrah goes on to say that despite the entire country being against it she is following the government's Marxist wrecking agenda to smash British society no matter what.
Talk about dictators.
Miller is growing an Adolf Hitler moustache just incase we do not understand that we are now being ruled by a bunch of jack booted dictators.
Yvette Cooper, traitor, supports the government's Marxist wrecking agenda. Why do these criminals even pretend they are in different parties.
It is the same trough. It is the same swill.
It is the same criminal disregard for what the people want and say.
String the traitorous MPs up by their necks screeches Blackbird.
Crispin Blunt advises caution but Maria Miller's new Adolf Hitler moustache twitches nervously at the word "caution". Marxist Frankfurt School Conservative traitors don't like that word.
Stewart Jackson points out the inconvenient truth that there is no popular mandate for this criminal legislation.
Peter Bone points out that same sex marriage has never been mentioned in any party's manifesto.
He shouts "How dare she?"
Maria Miller repeatedly stands with her right leg crossed defensively in front of her left. One gets the impression Miller knows that what she is doing is an act of treason and that that arch traitor Cameron has forced her into this deceit.
MP after MP tells traitor Miller all their constituents are against it but it is clear Camoron has decided to knife Britain in the back for the sake of his queer lovers.
Matthew Offard points out that in Canada where same sex marriage became legal in 2008 they are making polygamy legal now and that will happen here too.
This is the end of civilisation.
Robert Drax asks "What right do they have to change religious faith?" Look Robert when you are a bunch of traitors rights don't come into it. Traitors are traitors.
Theresa Villiers secretary of state for Northern Ireland is clearly anti Loyalist..She condemns the violence without condemning the IRA sympathising councillors who took the Union flag down.
Clearly this minister is an IRA porker and we are now being ruled by the IRA.
Laurence Robertson says the Union Jack should fly over all public buildings but it is clear Villiers is an IRA pig and eats IRA swill.
We have another traitor running the Northern Ireland office.
This fiasco has clearly been instigated by the government. Villiers is anti Loyalist.
Ian Paisley asks if the minister will confirm that Ulster is British and will she go there and say so?
Villiers squirms like the porkine traitor that she is.
The swill isn't deep enough for her to hide in. She stays on her high horse looking at the swill covered swine around her.
This is a bad day for government as their true Marxist IRA colours have been firmly pinned to the mast of their pirate ship.
There is a move back to discuss the economy but nothing new emerges.
Two new pigs at the trough make their maiden speeches: the young sow from Rotherham blathers a load of stale swill and the runt from Croydon North tries to blow his own trumpet but only manages to sound like a completely out of touch porker.
Two more useless additions to the pig sty.
What a thoroughly rotten day for Britain and about time this herd of useless porkers were sent to the slaughter house. Traitors every one.
Blackbird circled the rafters before flying off into the Westminster night.